When you're a twenty-year-old triple platinum singer you get an image.
Except mine was all wrong. On drugs; pregnant; fucking my manager.
But I wasn't; it was all lies. I was a good girl.
But now I'm done being the good girl, because it has gotten me nowhere.
I spent the last year in love with a guy who I was paying to fuck me.
A guy who fell in love with someone else.
But now I’m over it. Now it's about me.
If the world thinks I’m a bad girl, then hell, that’s what I’ll be.
I'll show them bad.
Let's find out how promiscuous I can be.
by Missy Johnson
Published: February 8, 2014
My rating: 3.5 of 5 ⭐️
The way the world sees her and the real Beth are two different people. Even though lately Beth has done her best to live up to her reputation, not caring much or feeling much anymore for that matter.
Her former (paid) lover and best friend up and fell in love and was no longer available to her leaving her feeling more alone and vulnerable than she ever had. Vulnerable to be taken advantage of in the worst possible way. Something she unfortunately is still confronted with day in and day out.
So she drinks and she parties........and she has sex, indiscriminately and numbed by alcohol.
Club owner Roman, has been keeping an eye on the faltering singer from a distance, until one night he decides to step in and take matters into his own hands, before she comes to any harm.
A tentative friendship develops and although Roman is clearly interested in helping Beth through her issues, she is not ready to open up. So he is patient, making himself available when she needs him and in the meantime trying to keep her safe.
But Beth is never quite safe, not when the object of her downfall is one so close to her daily affairs. And as her resolve to keep her secrets quiet for Roman crumbles, he has trouble staying on top of the lies he's been telling Beth........
A pretty tragic story, really. And one that is only too easy to imagine close to reality.
Other than one decidedly hot scene, I did not find this book extremely erotic or even sexually charged. Perhaps it was the using sex as a manipulative tool at times, that took the sensuality right out of it for me. That doesn't take away from the fact that Missy Johnson knows her way around an erotic scene, because she most definitely does!!!
The story line is a compelling one, somewhat disturbing in terms of exploitation and, in warning, a rape that occurs, but also the psychological prisons people sometimes build around themselves when dealing with trauma in their lives.
What was a bit weaker was the story behind Roman, his presence on the scene is explained, however, the anticipation is built up in the course of the book and the resolution is almost anti climactic. Almost a non-event. I felt through the entire book, when I looked at the pages left, that there would be NO way the story could be told in that short a fashion.....and was a bit disappointed that indeed, it could.
Roman was fantastic as a character, I absolutely adored him. Beth was perfect as woman/child, strong but so fragile, touch her the wrong way and she breaks apart. Character portrayals were right on the nose.
I enjoyed the book, but it didn't leave me feeling quite satisfied. Almost as if we just skimmed the surface.
✨A haunting and provocative read✨
**ARC provided in return for an honest review.**
I was beginning to realize what this was: he wanted more of the party girl. He was here to see the Beth who stayed out all night drinking, and kissing random girls and making out with handsome men.
Not me. Well, not the real me, anyway.
I slipped a finger through the tie of my robe, letting it fall open. I arched my shoulders, letting the material float down my shoulders. Goosebumps hit my arms as I stood there confidently. Inside, I was a screaming mess.
What the hell am I doing? What if he touched me? What if I freaked out?
Sure, I'd had plenty of sex since the rape, but none sober. I hadn't let anyone touch me without being completely smashed first.
He stared at me for a moment, his eyes wandering over my curves as time seemed to freeze. I couldn't read his expression, but the longer he stood there, watching me, the more I began to panic. Without saying a thing, he bent down and retrieved the robe, threading my arms back into it.
"I'm not here to fuck you, Beth." He spoke softly, his hands running over the soft silk of my robe, down my arms to my fingers. I jumped back, both relieved and confused.
Well, this is embarrassing.